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Latest Issue: Volume 5, Issue 1
Your SOFFA Voice - a newsletter for the rest of us

FROM THE BROTHERS Confessions of an FTM Feminist

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Confessions of an FTM Feminist

By Frank Martin

I would like to offer some support to SOFFA's like Elizabeth Bays ("Top Surgery," Volume 4, Issue 4) about their encounter with misogyny within the FTM community. I am an FTM who considers himself a non-militant feminist and what I call a Goddess-guy, a worshipper of the Divine Feminine in all of us. But it wasn't always that way. Though I have always had a strong feminine core, my denial of it made me a kind of closet misogynist for many years. It was too dangerous to my fragile male identity to identify with women even enough to respect them. But without realizing it, I slowly began to change. Maybe it was my chest surgery, maybe it was my love for my Best Friend (a bio-lady penpal who cannot bring herself to love me -- or anyone -- romantically because of a physically and emotionally abusive ex-husband)... or maybe it was my spiritual shift from god to goddess. Probably all of the above. In any case, the more I have been able to manifest my masculinity to the world, the more comfortable I have become with my feminine components, and therefore more comfortable with the femininity of others.

So as FTM's like myself become more secure in our maleness, we can move toward
acceptance of all aspects of ourselves and of women too. There is still hope for us as a community.

SOFFA's are super-understanding people in my opinion, but maybe it's too much to ask for them to put up with our misogynist tendencies. We can't afford to leave out our significant others or any potential ally just because their gender reminds us of our own personal nightmare. Both FTM's and SOFFA's need all the solidarity we can give each other.
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