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Latest Issue: Volume 5, Issue 1
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FROM THE BROTHERS Confessions of an FTM Feminist

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By Shirley Williams

How could I know what to expect? The soft, smiling, androgynous woman I was falling in love with just informed me that she's decided to physically transition to male. Prior to this announcement, she'd always say she was comfortable being "in the middle". Maybe our closeness was making her realize she needed to be true to herself. Maybe it was just time for her to be true to herself no matter what, even in spite of our closeness.

My identity that is dyke, card-carrying lesbian, been-around-the-block-with-men-in-the-past-and-don't-want-to-go-back... that part of me dissapproved, turned away, eventually broke up with him.

Later, the part of me that is beyond identity, the part that is at my core, not caring how the world categorizes me.... that part brought me back. I really loved this man.

I still do. I love him even more now that he's a man. Because he decided to transition, I've been given the gift of really being able to know him for who he is. Sometimes, it seems so crazy to me, I smile, shake my head and give up trying to figure it out. I remember, in old movies, the corny lovers realizing that love is not something we can figure out. It has a life of it's own. The truth is that what I love the most is his commitment to be true to himself no matter what, and that our love does have a life of it's own. It brings us laughter and comraderie and passion and togetherness. And sometimes I still smile and shake my head and think "A Dyke and Her Man", isn't life strange?

Shirley Williams
Seattle, Washington
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